When a conversation ends do you walk away feeling super awkward and unsure whether the other person will ever want to talk to you again? We’ve all been there. Even really charismatic people had to practice and learn to get where they are. The good news is, it’s not as hard as you think.
These tactics are not a scam, we’re not tricking the other person into liking you. All these are, is a game plan to follow to stay focused on the conversation, be more genuine and to use basic psychology to make sure the person remembers you positively.
With these simple tips you will be able to confidently hold a conversation and make a good impression with anyone you meet.
How to Make People Like You… Naturally!
Use Their Name
Your name is the sweetest sound in the world to you. Think about when you hear someone say your name. You pay attention, you know that they’re talking to you, you immediately perk up.
Use this in more conversations. By saying their name a little more frequently in conversation (don’t do it every sentence though, that will be too much and weird) is a great way to show them that you are paying attention to them and that you are interested in them.
Good news introverts! You don’t have to talk a lot or be super interesting to get people to like you. People want to be heard! One of the best things you can do to make someone like you is to listen to them. They will tell you more about themselves and will think that you know more about them because you must really care.
Pay Attention to Body Language
There is an entire science behind body language. While there is alot of science behind it and more to learn (Bustle has an article that’s a great place to start if you want to learn more!), let’s stick with the basics. Next time you’re having a conversation, pay attention to their body language.
Are their feet pointing away from you? Do they keep looking at other things and not meeting your eyes? Do they seem tense or have their arms crossed? Then they’re not into it. Get out. Maybe it’s not you, maybe there’s something else going on but that conversation is over. They will appreciate the fact that you respected them enough to give them space they need.
Find Common Ground
People like people they can relate to. If you have something in common that will give you a helping hand here. How many times have you been talking to someone and you found out their favorite show or movie is the same as yours? I bet you immediately said MINE TOO. And you were more excited and talked to them about more and more topics. When you find common ground, this person will automatically like you a little bit more.
Remember What They Say
Next time you see someone, if you ask them about something that they said during your last conversation, they will appreciate that you took the time to remember. Ask them how their dog is doing, how did they do on that test, anything that shows you cared enough to listen and remember.
This is the easiest and most effective way to make someone like you. Ask. Questions. During conversation, don’t talk about yourself unless it contributes to the conversation. Nothing makes a conversation go downhill like running a conversation about you. Nobody wants to hear your life story, all of your interests, your political beliefs, or your favorite color in the span of one conversation. This is information you can learn about each other over time.
By asking them questions it gives them a chance to talk about themselves and they will remember how good they felt talking to you. Why? Because everyone’s favorite topic is themselves! And they will want to talk to you again for these good feelings.
People can sense a phony a mile away so don’t be one. You’re not using people here, you want them to like you, so you need to like them. Be genuine with them. If you come across as fake they will think you want something, their guard will be up, and they won’t be receptive to you. Conversation and relationships go both ways, if you’re not going to care about them then don’t do it.
Remember the golden rule and treat them the way you want to be treated.
While this sounds like a lot, using these tips in more of your conversations will get people subconsciously liking you much more than if you tried to impress them. These tips let them feel like their conversation with you was special, that it is something that needs to happen again, and puts you in a much more positive light than if you try to showboat or talk over them.
Have you tried some of these tips? How are they working for you?